Pearls Goodwin 3: Happiness and Heartbreak
by Licy4
Summary: Third part of the trilogy. Lucy and Jeff are facing the future, but will it be all they expect?


Title: Happiness and Heartbreak

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from The Royal. However, Joseph and Eliza are mine.

Note: This didn't work last time, but the forum for fanfiction is part of this website www.theroyal.tk

Enjoy!

xXx

Lucy stood in front of the full length mirror in her pyjamas and stuck her stomach out. She lifted up her top to reveal her belly so that she could get a better view.

'What on earth are you doing?' her fiancée asked from the bed.

She dropped her top back down and turned to him with a sigh, 'You still can't tell I'm pregnant yet.'

'Well, sweetheart, you're only three and a half months gone,' he replied, amused.

'I know but I want it to show. I want to be fat!' she exclaimed, sitting down on the end of the bed.

'Oh baby,' he said, crawling over to sit next to her, 'You are.'

xXx

Lucy and Jeff had moved back into her house four months ago and had been engaged for just one. Since Lucy had found out she was pregnant three weeks ago, and once Jeff had got over the original shock, they had been busily planning the future. Starting with the complete redecoration of the house, including a nursery. Their bedroom looked like a bomb had hit it, since they were storing as much of the furniture and boxes from the other rooms in there while everything was decorated. Theirs would be the last upstairs room to be done to encourage them to keep going.

'Ouch,' Jeff shouted as he kicked his toe against a chest of drawers for the third time that day.

'Look, hun, it's not that hard. Just don't walk into solid objects,' Lucy mocked, from the room down the landing.

Jeff left their bedroom and leaned on the doorframe of the room she was in, 'Are you nearly finished there?' Lucy had been busily painting one wall, while Jeff had already finished the other three half an hour ago.

'We can't all be experts at painting walls,' she replied.

'It looks fine already!'

'What are you talking about? I've missed bits everywhere!'

'Would you like some help?' he asked, reaching for a paintbrush.

'Don't you dare. This is my wall!'

xXx

A week later and they had finally finished that room. It was their guest room, which Lucy had insisted on doing first to 'practice'. They only had Saturday's and Sunday's off of work, so that's when they got most of the decorating done, but Jeff had been doing bits after work as well to get things finished. Most of the downstairs rooms were well on their way to being ready, but only one in the whole house was actually finished. Lucy was working late at the hospital and Jeff had arranged a surprise.

'Jeff?' she said as she came through the front door. She knew he was home, his car was there and some lights were on in the house, but she wasn't getting any reply. After doing a quick sweep of the downstairs, she headed up. 'Jeff, are you okay?'

She gasped and grinned at the same time as she pushed open the door to the spare room. The bed had been pushed out of the way and a table set up in the small space that it left. Candles had been lit all around the room and next to the table, stood Jeff, grinning like a mad man.

'To celebrate our first decorating success,' he told her as he walked over to greet her.

'You didn't need to do this.'

'Well, it's just fish and chips. I didn't have time to cook before you got here, but we should celebrate everything.'

'Thank you,' she said, leaning up to give him a brief kiss, 'Let's eat.'

'Wait, there's one more thing,' he told her, 'Look at your wall.'

Lucy spun round to see the wall that she had painted. There, right in the middle, in white writing on a sturdy black sign were the words, 'Lucy's Wall.'

'Like Hadrian's Wall, see? So you'll always remember it,' Jeff tried to explain.

'It's lovely,' she said, slightly choked by the gesture, then she remembered something, 'Hey, you didn't put a nail into my wall did you?'

xXx

'Hello, angel. Coo-chi-coo,' Jeff cooed at his baby.

'Jeff, can you please stop talking to my stomach?' Lucy asked, gently swatting his face away from her ever protruding belly.

Lucy was now five months pregnant and was enjoying every moment of it. She had not yet begun experiencing the backaches, cramps or tiredness that comes later in pregnancy.

'I just want to make sure he knows who I am,' Jeff told her, readjusting himself to lie under her.

'Don't worry, she'll know. Soon as she's born, she's yours,' Lucy laughed.

'Oh, so I get the fun part then.'

'It'll be…' Lucy winced.

'What? What's wrong?' Jeff asked, holding his breath as if to prepare for the worst.

Lucy grinned and put a hand on her stomach, 'It kicked.'

'Really?'

'I never felt it that strong before. Oh, there it is again. Here, feel,' she said, taking his hand and placing over the baby.

'That's our baby.'

'It certainly is.'

Jeff looked up at her, 'I love you, Lucy.'

'I love you too.'

xXx

'Not long now, hey Lucy?' Jill said, as Lucy arrived for her last check up.

'No, I can't wait. I just hope actually having a baby is as great as being pregnant,' Lucy replied, perching herself on the edge of the bed and swinging her legs up.

'I don't suppose you'll be saying that after months of sleepless nights,' Jill laughed, putting in the earpieces of her stethoscope and placing the flat end on Lucy's stomach.

'I'll let you know. This will be you next, you know!' Lucy told her, but Jill was no longer listening. Her friendly expression had been replaced with one of concern, and she was moving the stethoscope round more than usual.

'Jill, what's wrong?' Lucy asked, as panic began to set in.

'It's probably nothing. When was the last time you felt the baby move?' Jill questioned, switching completely into doctor mode.

'When I got out of bed this morning.'

'Good. Do you mind if I ask Gordon to have a listen?'

'You're really scaring me. What is it? What can you hear?'

'Just let me get a second opinion.' Jill left the room and returned a few minutes later with Gordon in tow. He repeated the examination Jill had just carried out and, when he had finished, he and Jill shared a knowing glance.

Jill turned to look at the scared mother, 'Lucy, we're going to have to deliver your baby now.'

Lucy sat upright, 'No, it's too soon. The baby isn't ready yet.'

'You're eight months gone. The baby will have every chance of survival at this stage,' Gordon assured her.

'Tell me what's wrong,' Lucy demanded.

Jill sighed, 'We can't find a heartbeat.'

'What?' Lucy gasped.

'The baby could be in distress and we need to get it out, so it would be best if we could do an emergency caesarean,' Gordon explained.

'Jeff, I want Jeff.'

'I'll go and find him for you,' Gordon offered, leaving the women alone. Tears were falling from Lucy's eyes now and she was sat up on the side of the bed.

Jill sat next to her, 'Lucy, I know this is hard, but this really is the only chance your baby has and if we don't do it soon then it might be too late.'

'It might be too late already, mightn't it?' Lucy asked, staring at Jill as if she was daring her to lie.

Jill sighed then nodded gently. Lucy knew this would be Jill's reply, but actually having it confirmed sent her into gasps of all consuming sobs. At that moment, Jeff ran into the room and swept his fiance up into his arms, holding her close as she cried.

'We have to do this, baby. Our baby has to be here now,' he told her.

'I know.'

xXx

'I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry.'

Jill was standing at the end of Lucy's bed in maternity, Jeff was lying on the bed with his fiance. Lucy was in floods of tears, but Jeff was staring blankly into the distance, his hold loosening as he slipped off the bed and went to stand at the window.

'I don't understand,' Lucy sobbed, 'I felt it move this morning. It was fine.'

'Your son must have moved in such a way that meant he was strangling himself with the umbilical cord,' Jill explained, as gently as possible, 'He suffocated himself.'

'Son? It was a boy?' Jeff whispered, turning from the window.

'Yes. Would you like to see him?'

Lucy looked over to Jeff, but he turned back to the window. She looked back at Jill, 'Yes please.'

Jill nodded and left the couple alone. Lucy wiped at her soaking face, and reached out towards Jeff.

'Jeff, please come back.'

'I can't,' he said, keeping himself firmly facing away from her.

'Please, I need you,' she pleaded, but he didn't move, 'Jeff, I love you and I need you here with me.'

Jeff turned and looked at her, his face scarily emotionless, 'I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't.' And with that he crashed out of the room.

Lucy pulled the bed sheets around her and lay back into the pillows. Soon afterwards, Sister Brigid entered the room with a bundle of blankets in her arms. Lucy took a deep breath and wiped her eyes again, pushing herself up to a sitting position. Sister Brigid walked slowly over to the bed and lowered the bundle into Lucy's waiting arms.

'Are you ready?' the nun asked, quietly. Lucy nodded, so Sister Brigid reached down and folded back the section of blanket which had previously been covering the tiny baby's face. Lucy choked back fresh sobs as she stroked the baby's cheek.

Sister Brigid looked round, 'Where has Dr Goodwin gone?'

'I don't know,' Lucy replied, not taking her eyes off of her son.

Sister Brigid slowly retreated out of the room, after one final look at the mother and child.

'Don't let anyone but Dr Goodwin in,' Sister Brigid told one of the nurses who was attending to the young psychiatrist, before going in search of Jeff.

xXx

Jeff stared blankly out to the sea. The waves crashed against the shore, boats sailed gently in the distance and, down on the beaches, children were playing happily, but Jeff saw none of it. He was looking without seeing.

He and Lucy had built up a perfect life between them. The two of them and their baby. Their little boy. And now it was gone. The happy family life they had planned had been wiped away in an instant and Jeff didn't think things would ever be the same again.  
Slowly he became aware of approaching footsteps and, wiping his face of tears, he turned just long enough to make out who it was.

'Sister Brigid,' he greeted, as normally as he could manage, 'What can I do for you?'

Brigid sat down next to him on the bench, 'Doctor, are you okay?'

'Of course. Why wouldn't I be?' he replied.

'I was there you know, when he was born. I know what's going on,' she said gently, but he just turned his head away, 'Would you like to talk about it?'

'No, sister, thank you, but I wouldn't,' he told her, curtly.

'It might help…' she started, but he cut her off.

'Help? No amount of talking is going to bring my baby back to life and that's the only kind of help I need. So unless you can work miracles, I'd like you to leave me alone, please.'

'Jeff,' she began, using a more personal title, 'I can't even begin to imagine what you and Dr Klein are going through right now, but I do know that things are much easier to handle if you don't push away the people who are most important to you. Being on your own is not nice at the best of times, but at a time like this, it's unbearable. Right now, the woman you love is in there by herself, alone with your child, dealing with more grief than she's ever known. Is that what you want?'

Jeff shook his head gently, 'No.'

'You need to go in there and say goodbye to your son, because if you don't take this opportunity now, you will regret it for the rest of your life. He is so beautiful. He looks like you,' she told him.

'Really?' he asked, looking up, eyes brightening for a second.

'Really,' she reiterated, 'Now, are you going to come inside with me?'

Jeff looked down again, 'I don't know what to say to her.'

Sister Brigid rested her hand on his shoulder, 'Just hold her.'

xXx

Jeff and Sister Brigid re-entered the hospital and headed for Lucy's room. The same nurse that had been there when Sister Brigid left was still there, vigilantly guarding the door. She stepped aside to allow Jeff in, and then Sister Brigid guided her away, allowing the young couple some time alone.

'Lucy?' Jeff asked quietly, a few moments after the door closed quietly behind him.

Lucy, who had been curled up on the bed facing away from the door, towards the window, turned her head, trying to focus on the new face, 'Jeff?'

'I'm sorry, sweetheart,' he admitted, tears finally coming to him. In an instant she sat up and held her arms out towards him, as he rushed across the room to fall into them.

'Shh, darling, it's okay,' she comforted, rocking him gently, her own tears mingling with his.

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have let you see him on your own. I shouldn't have acted like that,' he sobbed.

'It's okay,' she told him, 'It doesn't matter. You're here now and that's all that counts.'

'I love you so much,' he told her, pulling away so her could look at her.

She smiled, 'I love you too. And we're going to get through this together, whatever happens.'

'So how are you feeling?'

'Tired. I can't believe this…' Lucy yelped and grabbed her stomach.

'Lucy?' Jeff stepped back slightly, supporting her, 'What's wrong?'

'I don't know. It feels like another contraction.'

'That can't be!' Jeff exclaimed.

Lucy felt the pain again, 'Jeff, get Jill.'

'What?'

'Get Jill. Now!'

xXx

Jeff paced the waiting room, desperate to know what was going on inside Lucy's room. Jill had rushed in twenty minutes ago, after Jeff had been deployed to find her by an in-pain Lucy. Jill had then sent him to find a nurse and then another. Since then, he had had no word of the goings on inside the room.

Finally, the door opened slowly and Jill came out, clutching a small bundle in her arms.

'What's going on, Jill?'

She held the blankets out towards him, teary eyed, 'Another one, Jeff. There was another baby.'

Jeff's mouth moved, but for ages, nothing came out, then, 'What? How?'

'The other twin was larger, this one is quite small. She must have been behind her brother, who was undoubtedly taking the majority of available nutrition. We had no idea she was there,' Jill explained.

'There was no room. That's why everything was so squashed and his cord was so close. That's why he suffocated,' Jeff deduced.

'No, Jeff. No, don't think like that,' Jill told him, 'This is your daughter, she is completely innocent.'

'I need to see Lucy,' he said, pushing past Jill, not even looking at the baby. Lucy was curled up again, like she had been before, the nurses were bustling around her, but she was just crying quietly.

'Luce?' She kept facing firmly away from him, so he turned to the nurses, 'Could you leave us please?' The nurses left the room and Jeff walked round so he was in Lucy's line of vision, forcing her to look at him.

'What are we going to do?'

xXx

'Eliza Michelle, would you stop chasing flies and come back over here?'

The three year old toddler hopped and skipped her way back over to where her parents stood, 'Can I do it, daddy?'

Jeff smiled down at his daughter, 'Only if you're careful.' He handed her the fresh bunch of flowers and she ran off to start on her job.

'Don't get your dress dirty, sweetie,' Lucy called, flicking a piece of hair behind her ear, then laughed, 'Isn't she lovely?'

'Just like her mother,' Jeff smiled, leaning in to give his wife a peck on the cheek.

'Compliments, my darling, will get you everywhere,' she told him, leaning in for a longer kiss.

'I've finished!' Eliza announced, returning to her parents. Jeff and Lucy broke apart and looked over at their daughter's handiwork.

'They look lovely,' Lucy told her.

'Do you think Joseph would like them?' the little girl asked, seriously.

Jeff leaned down and picked her up, 'I think he would have loved them.'

'Good,' Eliza said, 'Mummy, why did we have to come to church today?'

'You know why, Eliza,' Lucy told her.

'No I don't.'

'Yes you do, it's the same reason you and mummy are wearing pretty dresses and I have to wear this suit,' Jeff said.

'Because you're getting married!' Eliza exclaimed, proudly.

'That's right,' Lucy congratulated, readjusting the strap of her dress on her shoulder.

'Are we going home now?'

'No, we're going to have a party to celebrate,' Jeff told her, 'With Auntie Jill and Uncle Gordon, and Sister Brigid and Matron and Mr Middletditch…'

'And Auntie Lizzie?' Eliza interrupted, referring to her favourite auntie.

'Yes, Auntie Lizzie will definitely be there,' Lucy assured her.

'But Joseph won't be there,' Eliza stated, sadly.

Jeff and Lucy looked at each other, the memory of their son causing sadness and grief for both of them. Eliza knew about her twin brother because they brought her to his grave often. That's why they felt they should visit him on their special day for, although he was gone, he was such a big part of the people, and the family, they had become

'No, sweetie, Joseph wont be there, but the new baby will,' Lucy explained.

'Only in your tummy, mummy. She can't see anything,' Eliza said, as if she was explaining the concept to a child.

Lucy laughed, 'Oh, it's a girl, is it?' Eliza nodded. 'Well, when she's older, you can tell her all about it.'

'Come on then girls,' Jeff spoke up, 'we're missing our party.'

'You two go ahead,' Lucy instructed, 'I'd just like a minute.'

Jeff nodded and carried Eliza off towards the waiting cars, tickling her and making her giggle as they went. Lucy watched them walk away, then turned to the gravestone in front of her.

'I've got to go now, baby, but remember mummy and daddy love you and always will, no matter what happens,' she told her son, through a few tears, then she smiled, 'Hey, do you like my dress? I was a bit worried I wouldn't fit into it, but it doesn't matter. You still can't tell I'm pregnant yet.'


End file.
